Laura Starr is genius with the search engine. She googles (did you know this is an official word in Webster's now?) ICT quite often to see if we have any new hits.
Yesterday, she forwarded me this link. This was someone who auditioned for ICT's upcoming production of Lewis and Clark Reach the Euphrates by Robert Schenkkan. Laura was fascinated by it, mostly because the woman refers to ICT by name and what was said by specific people in the room. I agreed but said I didn't mind, because it's not like she said, "this company treated me like crap and also the assistant director is fat and has frizzy hair."
Oh, all right! Maybe she did offend me just a little bit when she assumed that I was the assistant director rather than the artistic director... was it because I am a woman ... oh hush you ridiculous ego of mine!
It was intriguing to read her account of the auditions for the show. I recall so vividly the terror of it all, but confess that it's been a while since I have had such a clear glimpse into the hell I put others through. Flashback to auditions for Tony and Tina's Wedding, (oh hush!) when I did an improv scene (help me, Jesus) and answered every question my scene partner asked with "no." Or the one where I was auditioning for a role in a film where I was expected to snarf down cookies as I pondered over different shaped bikini lines. I'm so sorry, dear. I wish there was a better way to do these things.
I think the thing that makes me feel worst as an auditor is when an actor travels 50 minutes in snow and sleet, does a 60 second monologue really well, and then we have to be like, "Hey, thanks man. Bye." The look is always like "Are you kidding me? That's it? I thought we'd get to at least second base!" We had over 100 people to consider for 8 roles. That's a lot of nos, man. I start to feel like a real bitch.
But after reading this, I also wished that actors could have as vivid a glimpse into a director's mind, because this woman's interpretations of what we were or were not thinking throughout the audition were incorrect. The biggest misinterpretation would be that our true calling in life is to judge subtle interactions and form big conclusions from them (the shoes, the hair, etc.) I think I want actors to nail the role more than they want to. But somehow, it always comes off as mean spirited judging. Alas. Alack. Poor me. Just kidding. My side of the table is so much safer. Being an actor is terribly gutsy, and that's pretty much my bottom line on the matter.
Except for one thing... I mock actors gleefully when they pull pretend finger guns from their pockets and point it menacingly around the audition room. Oh wait, two things! I also mock actors who do that weird put my head to my chest and invoke my character a la spooky seance and then pop my head up and begin acting thing. Then the third one is when...
Oh dear.
Til next week
G
5 comments:
Boy, I'm so glad I'm not an actor. Writers get plenty of rejection, but at least most of it is done on paper, not face to face.
And I love that the fact that you generously provided a dish of nuts for the actors was interpreted as a subliminal hint about low pay. Geesh.
Oh goodness, it really is hell to audition--why oh why do any of us do it? Oh, yeah...cause we're nuts. Hey, maybe THAT'S why we left the nuts? So many interpretations, so little time...
As the provider of nuts, I feel that you all are judging my choice of snacks. Don't judge me for taking what was on sale.
As for the blogger, what an interesting perspective to be taking in a blog. Whenever I went into an audition, I took what people were saying to heart as well, but then I would have to let it go to move on to the next audition. This actress will look back on these blogs and just retain every moment of insecurity. I can't see that as being helpful or healthy. Just my two cents.
Thank you Laura for always being on the look out for ICT and thank you Gen for sharing this interesting blog with us.
Oh my goodness! First of all, I'd be totally psyched for nuts in a bowl (that sounds wrong).
When I read this as an actor, it makes me giggle... there's not a real sense of self-aware irony and I think there should be. I mean- reading signs into snack choices and what was obviously meant to calm ya' down? (The "actors who make choices" comment.) I also totally get it--- it made me want to share the MANY audition horror stories I've got in my baggage. Like the improv audition where I improv pooped on my mother's grave. If you're wondering- nobody laughed... they just looked horrified. Can we please do a thread where we share those?
When I read this as a director, it made me so frustrated. Seems like there's just nothing you can do to put people at ease. Don't actors realize that my greatest hope as herr direktor is that each actor rocks the casbah? I want them to be great; I don't take glee in seeing bad actors. In fact, it's quite depressing. As Homer Simpson would say, "You've tried your best and failed miserably-- the lesson is, never try."
Thanks for the interesting post and link.
Danielle,
At least your pooping got a laugh posthumously from me!
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